A Sad Year

A year ago today, my son-in-law took his own life. I can hardly believe it has been a year! Unbelieveable to me but such a reality to my sweet daughter and her family, left behind with questions unanswered and unimaginable sorrow and emptiness that only time can help heal. I look back and wonder what could we, the family,have done to avoid this. We were all so clueless to the depths of his depression. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people suffer with it, but quite a few of them suffer in silence. In their minds it is a sort of weakness and they want to hide it from the very people who love them and want to help them. I truly feel this was the case with Sean. He didn't want anyone to know how he suffered so he suffered in silence. There is medication to help with this but he thought he could control it without the medication. Obviously he was mistaken. Without the medication, it completely consumed him until he could see no way to escape the pain he felt except to end his earthly life. Such a waste. I hope we can all learn a valuable lesson from this experience. If we or someone we know suffers from depression, no matter how light we may think it is, we need to encourage them to get the help and medication they need so as to avoid losing them. We love Sean and miss him. He was a great guy and loved his family. But the bottom line was this: He had a mental sickness that completely took over his life. It consumed him and squeezed out the light in him until there was nothing left. He felt alone and abandoned and didn't know how to fight it and didn't have the strength to fight it any more. We must always do everything we can in this life to make sure that we and our loved ones know of our love for them and reach out to them to help ease the burdens they carry. We love you Sean!

OK then. . . .

It is now March and I am getting ready to go on Medicare!!! Can you believe it? Me neither! I see how I look on the outside, but I swear I don't feel that old on the inside! I can't believe how fast time slips by. It seems like yesterday when my 5 children were all home and going to school and now they are all grown with children of their own! I tell you that when you blink your eyes the world has changed and sometimes it feels like it is all falling down around you. It is times like this that I am thankful to a loving Heavenly Father who keeps a watchful eye on us and helps us as we stumble here in this mortal life. With the things going on around us both in our country and worldwide, it is down right scary. It is my faith and religion that keeps me going and helps me cope with the struggles and challenges I have. I hope that everyone can feel the love of their Heavenly Father and as he wraps his arms around us and shields us from the pitfalls that beckon us. I love my children. They are my world. I want the very best for them and my grandchildren. I love and miss my eternal companion and long for the day I can join him. Until then, I am blessed with a wonderful man to be my earthly companion. He is there for me and I do love and appreciate him.